When you wish upon a star, it takes 367,000,978,345,692,1094,984,356.89137 light years for the sound of your voice to reach the nearest star to you at that exact moment. A.K.A. - IT CAN'T HEAR YOU!
If anyone ever reads my other blog (realistism.blogspot.com), they'll know that I'm not the "religious type." Needless to say, I don't pray much/ever. I won't sit here and say that I'm against people who do choose to pray. What I will say is this: Keep your prayers to yourself. Because if you are 367,000,978,345,692,1094,984,356.89137 light years away from the nearest star, you have no idea how ridiculously far you are away from anything even resembling this God fellow. IT CAN'T HEAR YOU!
If you're the praying/wishing out loud type, please consider others, and keep your bullshit to yourself. First of all, it's a commonly known fact that prayers, wishes, spells, charms, etc., cannot penetrate the invisible walls of the earth's ozone layer, so all you're really doing is polluting our atmosphere with an over-abundance of bullshit not even your own mother could make herself care about.
Just STOP it! No one cares whether or not you get that promotion, or if your cat recovers from that stress-fracture surgery. Most importantly, no one cares whether or not their food gets "blessed to the nourishment of our bodies," nor do we think you are a good person just because you make a public "thank you" prayer to an imaginary deity whom has nothing to do with the fact that we are about to gorge ourselves into gluttonous oblivion. You are a self-indulgent ass. Shut up, and stop perpetuating the rate of global warning by burning holes in our ozone layer with your stinky bullshit.
Big opportunities are lurking. Make sure you're getting your sleep so you will be well rested. Take the extra 5 minutes you would spend praying, and just sleep. Remember, you can't project your stupidity on to others as long as you are asleep. Also, consider fasting. You'll need to have plenty of room in that elastic fat sack you call a stomach when you die and come to find out that your precious "Heaven" is nothing more than an eternal all-you-can-eat buffet at the Golden Corral.
WELCOME to HEAVEN! We've been expecting you.
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