Friday, August 7, 2009

A rooster in the hen house...


Image Courtesy of www.photoshopnerds.com

You can't make an omelet without a stove, a frying pan, some butter or cooking oil, and a few deshelled eggs. Unless you've got your own omelet making robot. Then all you would need is some eggs. Unless your omelet making robot was actually a cyborg chicken. Then, your robot could lay its on eggs, and make its own fresh, hot, steamy omelets. Maybe it's just me, but can you think of three adjectives which describe the taste of cooked eggs in a more appeasing way than fresh, hot, and steamy?

At any rate, don't let "these bad times" get you down. Just wait until 2029. You see, everything that has ever been thought, imagined, dreamed, conceived, hypothesized, theorized, or even just mentioned in the history of the universe will be possible, tangible, and purchasable by the year 2029. So don't worry that you've now foreclosed on two mortgages, and that you haven't been employed since you got laid off 8 months ago, because 20 years from now, you'll be able to purchase a key-chain-sized robot, for about the price of a piece of Bazooka Joe gum, that folds out into a luxurious 18 bedroom mansion in the Hamptons. Okay, maybe not, but you will definitely be able to purchase a robot the size of a key chain that could build you a luxurious 18 bedroom mansion, practically anywhere in the world you want, within 24 hours.

Just wait until 2029, and your total lack of money, skill, intelligence, or beauty of any kind will no longer be a hindrance to you, or those around you. In 2029, (when Kanya West is President of the United States), we will replace all poor, unattractive, talentless morons with "smarter, better, faster, stronger " versions of themselves. Ugly babies will be instantly modified by robot doctors into perfect, flawless, genetically altered, cosmetically enhanced versions of themselves, prior to the breath of life being spanked into them.

Just wait until 2029, when blind people will at last be able to get behind the wheel of a car, as it drives itself to their destination, but it won't even matter because blind people will just be outfitted with technologically engineered, functional eyes.

Yes, in 2029, we'll all be cosmetically, biologically, technologically, and intelligently perfect replicas of our current selves. Death, disease, and poverty will be obsolete, so you can feel free to have as much unprotected sex with as many different partners as you see fit. However, people WILL still pee in the shower.

Image Courtesy of www.virginmedia.com

1 comment:

  1. Challenges may arise from work and at home, keeping in mind that compassion, courage and common sense will be of great help in surpassing difficult times. Horoscope is just a mere guide in making our decisions but never should fully depend on it.

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