The Golden Rule of Tom Thumb...

Image Courtesy of www.old-picture.com

It's the end of the world as we know it. On this "magical 9's day", everything you thought you knew is about to change. Prepare yourself as the proverbial rug is pulled out from under you. I have adopted a new quote (said by me, of course) which best describes life, and more importantly, my life. I am starting a movement to pass this quote as a rule. Passing a quote as a rule works kinda like how a bill becomes a law, only without all the disgustingly rich geriatrics in suits and bullshit red tape. Nope, turning a quote into a rule is as simple as me declaring it so.

Once I have made my quote into a rule, I will start a movement to replace the Golden Rule with my rule, known hereby as the Realistist Rule. The text of the Realistist Rule is as follows:

"Just do what you're supposed to."

Done.

That being said, I hereby declare this quote be forevermore revered as "The Realstist Rule".

And now that I have successfully turned my quote into a rule, let the movement to replace the Golden Rule with the Realistist Rule begin. In order to accomplish this seemingly overwhelming (to some, perhaps) feat, I must first develop a comparison chart listing all the pros and cons of each rule. And so I have done:

	The Golden Rule	The Realistist Rule
Easy to remember the actual text verbatim
Easy to actually follow
Easy to pronounce
Probable that people will actually follow
Taught by Jesus, and other religious figures
Taught by someone who doesn't believe that religion is an excuse to break it and obtain forgiveness
Delicious sounding (as in, also applicable to pastry baking)
When adhered to, helps you get laid
Looks good on a bumper sticker
Looks good on a t-shirt
Unique, original, trend-setting

As you can clearly see, it was a close comparison, but the results don't lie. The Realistist Rule clearly edges out the Golden Rule in a 7-6 victory, making the Realistist Rule now the single most important thing to remember in the entire Universe, at all times, and thus accomplishing my mission to with it replace the Golden Rule.

Thank you all for participating in this ever important movement. We couldn't have done it without your diligence and tenacity. Now, go back to working or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing right now instead of fucking off on the internet all day, reading my blog.

I mean seriously, there's a fucking Eskimo opposite you! What the fuck? Instantaneous Realistist Rule FAIL!