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"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."
For those who didn't know, that's the first line/paragraph of the Declaration of Independence as written by Thomas "I learned to play the violin to pick up chicks" Jefferson. Furthermore, if you have no idea what any of that bullshit means, welcome to the club. One thing's for certain though: Where was the Declaration of Independence when I was being taught about "run-on sentences" in grade school?
Today is your lucky day. Take peace in knowing that on this day, July 4th, we Americans celebrate babbling morons like yourself who speak just for the sake of hearing your own voice. There is no topic of conversation too trite and no rhetorical question too under-expounded upon for American Independence Day. Let your inner voice become your outer diarrhea of the mouth today. Success lurks in the connection you will make with the most unsuspecting follower of your jibber jabber, so be steadfast and attentive, or you'll blow your big opportunity like Monica Lewinsky under the desk in the oval office.
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