A bird in the hand is worth anywhere from nothing, to thousands of dollars, depending on the current vital status of said bird, its species, and the current population of said species throughout the world. Also factored into its value, is the size of the hand holding it, and to whom said hand belongs.
Financial freedom is out there today, and it's yours for the taking. All you've got to do is let lose all your inner inhibitions. Forget your morals, ethics, common courtesy, sense, reason, and other hendrences, and just sell out. Sell everything: your clothes, your body, your mind, and your time. Or, sell nothing. Sell only the idea of something. People will buy it, trust me. The time is now. Sell, sell, sell.
If you own stock in Microsoft. The time is ESPECIALLY now to sell! Microsoft, the only company ever big enough to have never needed a catchy slogan, is the bird in the hand of hundreds of millions of people world-wide, and a tricky bird it is at that. At first, you'd think it was the last surviving member of the far extinct species of the exotic kiwi: a rare, and glorous, yet wing-less, (and therefore) flightless bird. But upon further inspection, one realizes that Microsoft is more like a dead, wingless, flightless bird. Even if it were alive, it would still suck ass, and probably wouldn't even taste good. Wings are delicious!
I've sent a slogan I came up with over to the fellas at MS via e-mail today. Let's see what they have to say about this:
| from |  A Realistist | ||
| to | marketing@corporate.microsoft.com | ||
| date | Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 2:02 PM | ||
| subject | Your New Brand Name & Slogan | ||
| mailed-by | realistism.blogspot.com | ||
I was playing around with ideas for your company's new slogan the other day and I wanted you to forward this on to Mr. Gates for me, as I'm sure he makes regularly scheduled visits to your call center/e-mail answering facility there in New Dehli.
I just want you to know, I fully expect a generic auto-replier sent to me within the next 48 hours, or you will be receiving yet another e-mail from me requesting further action.
Without further ado, I present to you the new slogan for Microsoft Corporation:
"Microsoft - Happy Little, Virus-making Engineers from India. Because American Engineered Viruses Just Aren't Good Enough."
In addition, I think you people should roll out a new name for your company. I find the opposite of your current name to be more fitting. Microsoft, will now be known worldwide as:
Gianthardon
You're welcome,
Dr. Robert Xavier
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment